Hermana Kristi Koerner is a dear sister from my mission who we all looked to for advice and council. She is so full of Christlike love and patience. I learned a lot from her story and I hope you can too!
"Post-mission adjustment is different for everyone and when I would
talk with a friend who said it was no big deal, I pretty much had to
walk away. It was hard. And the things I thought would be hard (the
things I'd mentally prepared for) weren't, and then all these other
issues or facets were.
I remember coming home. The excitement and nervousness all rolled into
one and yes, a peace and happiness with the knowledge that I had
served my mission whole-heartedly, obediently, without holding
anything back. That feels good : ) On the plane home I was able to
share the gospel with a little family and I helped them with their
luggage. Finally I greeted my family and it was hugs and cheering for
5 minutes. Then my parents started fighting. And my siblings started
arguing about something trivial. And I felt completely lost. Rather
than being overly excited to hear my stories, my family was loaded
with complaints and arguments as we drove from the airport to the
stake center where I was released. This wonderful Spirit that I
carried with me was clinging on for dear life amidst the turmoil of my
family. My family was not in a healthy place spiritually despite all
my efforts during the mission to strengthen them and I felt an
increasing responsibility to be their rock when I came home. I
instigated prayers, scripture study, and FHE. I dragged my sisters to
institute and helped one sister, who though prompted to serve her
mission had procrastinated, prepare for her mission.
It was a train wreck. I struggled to reach out to former mission
companions even because it was hard to hear how wonderful everything
was for them (obviously not understanding they went through a similar
adjustment). As I found that fewer and fewer people really wanted to
hear about my mission stories, I stopped wanting to talk to people. My
friends still in the mission were wonderfully supportive but I felt I
had to be encouraging them to focus on their missionary work instead
of dumping my problems of them.
Heavenly Father blessed me with a multitude of tender mercies during
this time. It was certainly a time that I was aware that I had to put
into practice many of the lessons I learned on the mission. Maybe that
was the purpose of it all along. I had learned to better recognize the
direction of the Spirit and I held tightly to the inspiration and
revelation I received as I sought guidance for what I needed to do
despite all the clamoring voices surrounding me. I followed the
promptings to move across the country, by myself, to Arizona and I
started fresh. I had to give myself permission to do what was best
for me at that time and to realize that I wasn't personally in charge
of my family's choices. Things have improved and I'm happy to report
that I am happy, balanced, involved in my stake and ward, and
genuinely in a wonderful place now. It's a process of learning how to
become who Heavenly Father needs me to be in each stage of my life.
And dating, well... that's a whole other saga : )"
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